Alyssa

I've always had body dysmorphia. It could be because I was sexually abused when was younger, in the church. I never even told my parents, because I knew for them the church was everything. It happened many times, over years.⠀
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No one really looked like me. Everyone in my family was curvy, and I had a tiny little figure; I was athletic. I was really shy - I just felt out of place. My mom would try to get me to wear dresses and they just never fit with me. I also looked older than I was, and there were always predators around. I was always uncomfortable in my body because of that. ⠀
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Then I had kids, and bang - scars, stretch marks, weight fluctuations - my whole body changed. Is it weird that I'm really comfortable in my body, but at the same time... not?