April

I’ve modeled before, and this was the first time I didn’t make any effort to lose weight or prepare in any way. I didn’t even do my hair. I wanted to come as naturally as possible and push back against that idea of glamour, to show that there’s beauty in our natural bodies. I have curls, I have stretch marks, I have scars. Why are we always masking those things?

There aren’t many mixed race people in the media, and when you do see them they fit a very conventional type of beauty standard — thin, straight hair, very European kind of beauty standard.

I definitely struggle with eating disorders and body dysmorphia. What I see in the mirror isn’t how I see myself; I think of myself as being more plus-sized, to the point that I’ll wear clothes that are too big. A lot of it comes from being biracial, too; the beauty industry is very European, so being mixed race can make it hard to feel like you fit into either. My look is treated more like a fetish.

There is no shame in still dealing with society-driven body issues; the second you recognize it and find the ‘why’ behind it, you can start the process of finding beauty in yourself again. Small steps are still steps, and never be ashamed to ask for help or support when you need it. All bodies are beautiful, and truly recognizing that is the goal.