EJ

I gave birth to four kids in nine years. I’m learning how to love myself again — you don’t look the same after them as you did before.

I didn’t know I was trans when I started having kids, so I never understood why my body felt like a prison. You want to peel your skin off just to take a breath. I didn’t want to feel like a girl. They don’t have gender neutral maternity clothes — or at least they didn’t when I was having babies!

My first trans friend was so kind and compassionate and never made me feel stupid for my questions. I had grown up surrounded by religious conservatives, and it took me a long time to come out; they weren’t even having the gay, much less anything else. I was told that birth control was thwarting God’s will I remember meeting my mom’s midwife when I was 12, and she said, “Oh, I love your birthing hips!” My body was just there to serve other people.

My whole I had to be someone else, to tick all the boxes. But now I’m surrounded by people who love the real me. The only expectation in the trans community is to be who you are."