Honey

I was 10 or 11; I didn't want to play softball, I didn't want to do anything physical. I was in choir, and I started doing plays, and that's where I really found confidence.⠀⠀
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My dad was really into baseball, and he saw that I was good at t-ball, and he made me this project - I had to be better than he ever was. I was constantly being compared to my peers, which made me compare myself to others the rest of my life. ⠀⠀
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My dad treated my mom the same way and she was treated that way by her dad, so she was always comparing herself to others too. We'd be walking along somewhere and she'd go, " Am I as big as that woman?" She still does it.⠀⠀
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It's just embedded in me to feel shame.⠀⠀
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I had discovered Burlesque, but then I was triggered, stuck in a rut, suicidal, didn't know what I needed. Did the therapy. Realized all the things. Realized I had an eating disorder - I was binging and starving.⠀⠀
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When I started accepting my body for what it was, it was easier to do burlesque because I knew I had a confidence that other women who look like me often don't.⠀⠀
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A woman's body is so controversial, and I want to be right in the trenches of that bullshit. I don't want to hide just because I have a f**king woman's body - especially now, when our society is trying to put more and more regulations on it.